One of the causes of friction in marriages today boils down to money. Although it shouldn’t be an issue, different backgrounds and mindsets towards mammon are the reason why so many marriages are going through hell.
Today, couples believe they are one but they don’t want to be one financially. They tell everyone they are not one because they’re married but when it comes to money matters, they want to maintain individuality.
I have often heard women say things like My husband’s money is our money but my money is my money.
How could that possibly be?
That was what lead to the death of a woman in Kaduna years ago. She was a petty trader and her husband had just 1st lost his job but he was always doing his best to provide for his family. His wife who works and earned daily hardly bring her money to the table because she believes that time is her husband’s duty to provide for her needs.
One day while in the market, she slumped and passed out. She was rushed to the hospital and was immediately admitted. By the time her husband came to the hospital, he was greeted with the news that his wife will need to go through surgery and would require that he deposits 100k before the operation can be carried out.
Where could he possibly get 100k from seeing he doesn’t really have a job?
He went around to source for the money but didn’t get until it was few hours to the deadline and the money wasn’t available yet.
To cut the long story short, the woman died. Wow! What a painful way to die. While the nurses were clearing her body in preparation for the morgue, they found her local purse on her waste. On checking it, 50k was found inside.
The husband was summoned and the purse was handed over to him. Guess what?
The man cried and refused to collect the purse with money from the hospital. She said in tears Please bury her with the money. If the money isn’t good for her, then it’s not good for me
That woman died because she has thus the belief that her husband should meet all her financial needs and that of the family.
Some wives need Jesus. They hide their own monies and join in spending the money the husband makes. She keeps secret accounts where she saves money from her husband. And even when the husband is in need, they still keep the money from him. When you ask them why they’ll say Shebi it’s MY MONEY
Excuse me, what’s the meaning of MY MONEY? I thought you’re not married? It’s no longer your money but our money. Just as the man spends on the needs of the house, that is how you should release yours to support him in running the home.
If his money is good to be spent, yours too is better to be spent. Stop maintaining individuality because of money. If you’re one, then money isn’t exempted.
The husband’s money is our money. No doubt. But please note that the wife’s money is equally our money too. Nobody has any sole ownership of any money. It’s now the money of the family. You can’t be spending the money the man makes while you want to hide the one you make. What’s that supposed to mean?
Stop the dichotomy. Stop the abuse on your oneness. You’re now one and that oneness captures your finance, please.
Can your husband rely on you when he is not having enough? Are you truly open to your husband when it comes to finances? Or you’re only bringing a fragment to the table and keeping the bulk in a secret account?
How could your husband be broke and you cannot boldly bring the money in your custody to take care of him and the family? Why must he suffer because he’s having financial hiccups while you smile to the bank to get money?
Some of you are even buying things and you refuse to give to your husband. You claim that he’s the one who came to marry you and so he must find how to take care of you and the family!
Kai! What a very high level of insensitivity.
Excuse me! Once you’re married, you become one. And once you’re one, you cannot claim that that money is your money any longer. You no longer exist. It is now our money. 1+1=1 remember?
I remain your friend and brother Pst Jide Agbeje and I’m the privileged husband of Abimbola Agbeje.
Oneness must involve your finances too, please.